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Monday, December 6, 2010

Hurt, loss and the pursuit of Love

Have you ever been so heartbroken, where you can't breathe and when you open your mouth to speak no words can explain the affliction....all that comes out are tears?  I think for the most part we have all been there.  At one time in our lives we have faced so much pain that it hurts our souls so deeply words cannot express the bitter grief.  Last night I experienced an emotional cut that will leave scars for a lifetime.  It is enough to say that it was not only unexpected but also so vicious it took me by surprise.  Accompanied with the pain, I felt anger creep in.  I was so hurt I wanted to cause hurt back.  It is not something I am proud of by any means.  I admit I am selfish by nature.  My response was therefore very self serving.  I wanted to be vindicated for wrongs done when I felt injustice had been done against me.  Don't get me wrong I still know I have done nothing to deserve this treatment BUT I am now coming from that ledge of anger into God's arms where He not only comforts my hurting heart as he holds me but also teaches me like a small child to do what is right. 

Reading this morning  the famous 'love' passage (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7) my eyes were unveiled to much deeper truths than the shallow way I had read these verses so many times before.  I found God showing me how he would have me behave in this situation all for His glory and purpose specially when you add the following passages into the mix:

"A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another" John 13: 34

"We love because he first loved us.  If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar.  For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." 1 John 4: 19 and 20

You see love is not an option.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

In light of this passage I am committing to honor Jesus' teaching.  I don't believe these words are suggestions for living, rather mandates for us believers- Hard as they may be.
  1. I will choose to be patient in this circumstance. I will not push for my own time frame to see this made right.
  2.  I will choose to be kind even when it means biting my tongue to defend myself.
  3. I will not envy being the person 'on top'.  Neither will I boast or be proud of being on the bottom.
  4. I will not retaliate in rudeness. or retaliate at all.
  5. I will not seek my own selfish needs or desires but instead will pray for this person's well being.
  6. I will seek forgiveness and love when the anger monster comes knocking; I will run to Christ's arms.
  7. I will not harbor this in my heart and keep a list of wrongdoings.  I will choose to see what God sees.
  8. I will seek the truth and push away the evil- in whatever form it comes.
  9. I will trust God for the outcome.
  10. I will keep hope alive and not give up on this person.
  11. I will persevere and not look back.  Rather I will move forward, and will be ready if and when God brings healing to this situation.   

7 comments:

  1. Great resolve. I've been in a situation where I had nasty things said about me in public (among other things)and it took a long time for me to be able to heal from it. Your second verse really strikes a chord with me, even now. If we say we are Christians and love God, how can we hate God's children?
    I pray God gives you increasing strength to deal with your situation in love and peace, and sweetness of spirit. He'll be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm really sorry you've been hurt, Xiomara. Thank you for sharing what you are learning from it about what God has for his children in dealing with each other. I think you write very well, and your perspective is helpful to me too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your list! What a positive choice!

    ReplyDelete
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