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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Faith in the everyday painful life

Weekly I venture out for a two hour drive to a physical therapist.  I hope for the best and work at recovering what I somehow lost.  I look for answers but have yet to find them. Disappointment creeps in.  Worry is a constant companion.  On the two hour drive back home I pray for a better tomorrow.  14 months this condition has stolen.  And yet I am constantly challenged to not see it as a thief of good but a tool for good purpose. 

I would be a lying hypocrite to even suggest that because I have faith I can walk in the rain and yet act as if I'm experiencing pure sunshine.  Faith is not living in denial.  Faith is not ignoring the pain. Additionally, simply having faith does not mean a free pass from pain and anguish.

The New American Standard Bible says this of faith: " Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for (and) the conviction of things not seen" Heb 11:1

Faith is the assurance that God cares about the rain. Cares about me soaking wet.  Furthermore his character tells me he doesn't expect a fake smile as I shiver from the cold and bitter wind.  Faith is being held through unspeakable pain and anguish and being rocked through the tears until I fall sleep. And trusting that one day these months will be but a memory as I dance with him in glory.

20 comments:

  1. :(
    These verses popped into my head after I read your blog... I know your troubles certainly don't seem light and momentary, but I suppose in the context of forever that's all this life is anyway.

    1 Corinthians 4:
    16 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

    Praying for you to feel renewed and refreshed, and for faith through the day to day struggles. *Hugs*

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  2. Sorry I just saw this Kei. Thank you for sharing the verse with me. And for being there as a praying partner and friend. I am writting to process and find it helpful to me. Living with pain at times 24/7 for weeks on end-gives you a different perspective and as much as we know that this life is just a tiny sliver of eternity, pain is pain. Faith helps but physical pain cannot be erased even for those of us who have a deep abiding Faith in who our God is. We can have hope knowing in eternity we will be made whole but that again gives peace and something that we long for and look to but again this does not relief the pain and discomfort that are at times excruciating. I hope that makes sense and you understand where my heart is coming from.

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  3. Hi Xiomara, we have never met but I stumbled upon your site while looking at a post yu made to another photographer (Blair Phillips). Thank you for sharing your honesty and true faith. I was browsing and came upon this post today, just when I was feeling incredible discouragement. It is amazing that God uses our experience to reach others in unbelievable ways! I don't know your particular situation, but will pray for you none the less because that is what God intended for us to do, pray one for another. Thank you also for incorprating your faith in a capable God and your business. It will definitely influence my future web and blog design. Love The name! (Imago Deo)

    Ron

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  4. Xiomara, I love to read your writing! You write so honestly, and your faith and beauty shine through.

    I am so sorry you have to endure such constant pain. It's certainly more comfortable to read about the refiner's fire than to experience it.

    When I read this post, a verse came to mind. "He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight." Psalm 72:14

    Also "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

    Hugs to you!!! I pray for you out loud every day! ~Wendy

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  5. Wendy, I just came across your comment. So sorry! I thank you for constantly being an encouragament to me and for praying. I love you dearly! ~Xiomara

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