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Monday, January 14, 2013

Personal // The dreaded death and winter's beauty


The morning begins with a chill.  Twenty eight degrees freezing.  Inside, the house is warm with normal activities.  One child plays the piano.  The other hums as she makes her way down the hall into her room.  She pauses to say sweet words to the puppy and then off she runs into her room and begins her boom box with happy tunes.  Stepping into the kitchen I find hymns of praise playing as Josh begins the coffee pot.  
A few hours later I watch out the window.  The leaves that covered the beautiful trees are gone.  The flower beds hold only a memory of the summer's cheerful color.  The greenery on the hill remains {oh how I love Oregon for that reason} but there is a certain death among us in the winter time.  Not just the deciduous, not just the cool crisp frost underneath the boots.  But it seems that every winter as we prep for the Christ child's celebrations unknowingly we bury the year.  The previous activities are just memories in the family album.  Memories of fleeting moments that passed by.  Almost cruel like.  Far too quickly.  And of course we don't realize, as we walk through that short season of life, that time is working.  Doing what time can only do.  Closing the page of a child's phase and opening the door to what we raise them for.  But also what I dread the most.  More adventures, I say to myself bravely.  Deep inside mourning the passing of toddler years, preschool cuddles and all the little moments where they needed to hold my hand.  Adventures I repeat.  The kind that grow into children being more independent self sufficient adults.  A healthy distance growing. 

In the winter once again I put away the old and welcoming the new.  Like beautiful snow that falls and covers the dead ground.  Bringing beauty even if it is with the bitter cold. Among the frost and ice we welcome the new.  The beauty. New phases. New blessings.  And I vow to savor each 2013 moment.  To really savor and get a taste of each. little. delightful. beautiful. moment.  The bright and cheery stories underneath the long awaited spring time sun.  Deeply enjoying the summer's sunny adventures to the sea and city days that have become our day's off splurge.  I vow to treasure the long walks in the fall forest. Collecting leaves and recounting the day's events slowly.  Once again making that full circle to winter and even then, choosing to celebrate a grand finale as we rejoice around the nativity once again.  Burying the old and welcoming the new. One more year closer to the inevitable. 
The air is cold but the sun shines on this cold winter day.  Bundled children play.  The puppy and cat look out the window wanting to join in the fun.  I sit back and thank God for the season.  Choosing to savor the fleeting moment.  My heart rejoicing in this phase.  

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